Well, I don’t know if it’s the lack of sleep I’ve been receiving, or if I’m sick or what, but I do know that something has got to give.
I have been helping a friend out by watching her four kids in the morning. I make sure they eat, and I take them to school. I do this and don’t expect any money in the process. I can’t understand why I am such a pushover sometimes. I think when I see someone in need, I tend to not press the issue of asking for money. Especially when I see that person is in a bind. Call me a sucker, that is me. There are some things, however, that I will make changes to.
A certain social media site has been my “frenemy” for a long time now. I couldn’t design a page the way I could with the other social site that no one uses anymore. I can’t use just my initials as my name as it is not considered a real name. I feel sorry for those that only have two letters for a last name as the system will not accept that. Even though I can now design my new social network page, others may not be able to see it if they haven’t downloaded a certain app in order for them to see it. So what’s the point? I have no idea anymore.
I feel like all I do anymore on said site is play the games they have to offer. There has got to be more to life than that. My lost friends and family I found don’t use said social site. I don’t even hear from them. I find that a shameful thing if you ask me. We have all this technology, and yet, we can’t write a simple email asking someone how they are doing. It’s like it’s an effort to do something so simple. We wait until someone leaves this world to reflect and think to ourselves that maybe we should have taken some more effort to reach out to someone.
I know you must be thinking where all this is coming from. Did I ever mention that I become moved by certain movies? The most recent movie I watched was called To Save A Life. The movie was about two boys who were the best of friends, and they separate by the time high school begins. One becomes popular, and the other one becomes an outcast. I won’t say no more as it was a very powerful movie; it was a very moving and touching movie, and I recommend it for viewing. I put this movie up there with the Ultimate Gift. In any case, I feel things are changing in my life once again.
I feel that whenever I change, I feel that it’s a change of the better. I have been upset at my job for a few years now because they keep passing me up for promotions such as management. I cried about it last week, and I wanted so much to put in my two weeks notice. I have done so much for that place, and I get treated like crap. I keep on telling myself that I am no longer going to care; that I am going to do what I want to do and if they don’t like it, then they can fire me. The funny thing about having a good heart like me is I cave in. I go above and beyond what is expected of me again. This time around though, I am tired. I am tired of trying to fit in where I don’t belong. I feel like that girl in Blind Melon’s No Rain video. I know eventually I will find my own group of bees.
Who knows how I’ll feel in a few weeks from now. Maybe I’ll change my mind, maybe I won’t. I will keep you posted on my decision. I think that is about all I have to say for now.
Thanks for reading my crazy rant!!!