Note: I did not use real names…
Part III: Teenage Drama
While I am about to post this, I decided to re-read anything that might not be appropriate. Nope, not a thing, which means that I can go on with my story. Which reminds me where I left off. I believe I was talking about being in some relationships, only not really because I wasn’t ready to give a part of my innocence away.
It’s not that I was a prude or anything, it’s just that I was so self-conscious, that I was worried if I were doing something wrong or not. Rumors can be awful when you’re a teen. I would have rather had no reputation than a bad one, and that was exactly what I had, no reputation. No one knew me as anyone but my older brother’s baby sister, which was kind of moronic considering I’m only a year younger than him. I know, I know, I’m delaying the inevitable. Let’s just say that while I was kind of in relationships, I wouldn’t find true interest in having an actual relationship until I am 17. That’s where the fun begins.
Yes, in case you’re wondering, I’m still fantasizing about possible relationships here and there. It’s about a week before my 17th birthday, and I have to move to Florida. Ugh, the last thing I want to do is move to the sunshine state. I thought I would have had so much potential making it in New York. My hometown; my home; the place where I grew up. I had secretly hoped that some guy would notice me, and beg me not to leave. Would that have meant true love for me? No. It would have meant a temporary means to an end of living my life with my controlling parents, or should I say, controlling mother.
My mother was not exactly an easy person to get along with. She had a lot of drug issues. The sober mom was super fun to hang out with, but the stoned mom, was not. If there was one thing that my fragile ego couldn’t stand, that was my mom, and her many personalities. I ask you, who wants to be around that? And that was why I dreamed of some man just whisking me away from all of that.
Even though I wasn’t truly in love with anyone, nor was I interested in anyone, didn’t mean that I wouldn’t try to find someone. It didn’t mean that I wouldn’t try just to get out of my home. I found out in the end the difference between falling in love, and falling in lust.
Part IV: Love and Lust will be tomorrow.
Written by ©Diana Jillian