Being Cursed

Being Cursed: Chapter 1

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Never once have I ever imagined my life as being one big improvisation, although I do get the feeling of Déjà vu every now and again.  It’s that feeling like most get when they’ve watched a movie or a television show that had made an impact on their lives.  Or it’s like when reading a really great book that takes them away to another world.

I never really had much of an imagination.  I think.  I can’t really remember right now.  I do remember watching a few movies here and there and I do remember I only like certain movies.  For instance, I have a hard time watching movies about humans doing horrid things.

Movies about ghosts, zombies, other supernatural beings; those things I can understand but not the human mind.  Life is too fragile to be wasting it away watching human behavior.  Well, that’s just my opinion anyway, but I don’t care about that.  All I care about is basking in the sun today.

Right now, I am sun bathing in Venice Beach.  I am in Florida, not California.  And before you ask why, my answer is simple:  I love Florida much better than I do California.  I won’t say any more than that.  I don’t want to get into the whole east coast, west coast thing.

Venice happens to be located on the west coast of Florida.  The Gulf waters are clear and warm like bath water.  It is so gorgeous out here.  I was thinking I should have taken a trip to Siesta Key, but with the gas prices these days, it’s best to stay in your own neck of the woods.  I do love Siesta Key too.

The sand is Gorgeous there!  The sand is white and it feels like you’re walking on baby powder.  If you’re ever in the Sarasota area, I highly recommend going there though good luck trying to find a spot on Memorial or Labor Day.  But it’s not any holiday and I am enjoying the beach all to myself.

Literally, I am enjoying the beach to myself.  I live on the beach so I can stay out here all day and night if I want to.

Some time has passed since then, and it is now sunset time.  I decide to go back inside and watch the sunset from my bedroom.  It gets dark sometime after nine in the evening, but the sun begins to set at about eight or so.  From the patio, you can get a really great view of the sunset.  It looks like the sun is just melting into the ocean, bringing in the purple, pink, and blue hues of the sky.  It’s so gorgeous, I grab my sketch pad and pencil, and start sketching the landscape.

I must have been engrossed in my drawing because as I look to my side, there is someone sitting right next to me.  It’s a man; a young, and very handsome man.

His face looks as though it was once chiseled on a Greek or Roman statue at one point, but I know that cannot be because statues like that were made thousands of years ago.  Still, his short, wavy blonde hair, and sapphire blue eyes are mesmerizing.  I feel this instant familiarity with him, despite the fact I know nothing of him.

I break my stare and ask, “How did you get here?”

He doesn’t say anything.  He just smiles at me.

I decide to ask, “Are you lost?”

He just smiles as if something I said was a joke or something.

“Just watching the view,” his blue eyes are practically boring into mine.

I look away from him and back to the sunset where the sky is now colored with orange, pink, and purple hues.  It sure is a sight to see.

“It sure is nice to see,” I agree with him.  When I go to look back at him, I notice his eyes are still fixated on me.

“What if I were to tell you that this will be the last day you’ll ever see this sunset?”  He asks.  I notice he emphasized the word this.

I answer a question with a question.  “Are you into Tiger Army?”

He just smiles his mesmerizing smile and says, “No.  But today is the last that you’ll ever see this sun.”

“But of course,” I reply.  “You can never get today back.”

I don’t know why I become sarcastic when I’m nervous.  I guess it’s my own defense mechanism for coping with weird situations.  Although, I have to admit, I’ve never experienced a situation like this before.  I’ve never found a random stranger sitting up on the balcony with me, inside my own home.

I pick up my sketch pad and pencil, and get up off my chair.  My plan is to go inside, and lock the screen door.  If he found a way in, I’m sure he can find a way out.  Maybe he can jump off the balcony.  It’s only two stories down.

“Well, it was nice meeting you,” I say even though I am lying.  I don’t want to be rude and say, “Well, it was truly creepy meeting you.”

“We’ll meet again tomorrow evening,” he answers.

“Um, I don’t want to be rude,” I say.  “But I don’t even know you.”

“Cody.”

“Deanna.”

“I know,” he says in a matter-of-fact tone.

I turn to look at him.  “You do?”

“Yes.”

“But how?  I’ve never seen you before until today.”

“Oh, but you have, my dear, you have.”

“I have?”

“Yes,” he repeats.

“Then why don’t I remember you?”

“Because each night you fall asleep and each morning you wake up with no memory.   You have been living on the beach for quite some time now.”

“How long is ‘quite some time’?”  I grow curious about his statement.  I mean, wouldn’t I remember living on the beach every day by now, and meeting some handsome young man every time.  A creepy handsome young man but I can’t deny his good looks.

“It’s been about ten years now,” he replies.

I give him a strange look.  “Ten years?”

“Yes and for the past two years, I’ve been trying to wake you up.”

“And we’ve been having the same conversation for the past two years now?”  I find myself playing into his game, but I have no idea why I’m doing this.

“Well, kind of,” is his reply.  “Each day for the past two years, I’ve been entering into your dreams, trying to talk to you.  And each day, you forget who I am.”

“I do?”

“Yes.”

“Wait,” I begin.  “Why only the last two years if I’ve been away for the past ten.”

“Because I didn’t know there were ways to enter into your dreams up until two years ago.  I’ve been trying for years to wake you up.”

This day is growing more bizarre by the minute.  I mean, surely I would remember this guy, right?  And how is it that every day I would forget him?

“Okay,” I say in my most sarcastic tone yet.  “Say I’ve been in this coma for ten years.  How did I get here?”

“You were in an accident.”

“What, like a car accident?”

“Well,” he pauses.  “Not exactly.”

“So, am I supposed to be dead?”

“Yes and no.”

What kind of an answer is that?  I wonder.  “Yes and no,” I repeat slowly.

“I may have told you too much.”

“I don’t understand,” I say.  I begin to open up the screen door.  Surely this man is insane.  He’s just some stranger and he’s playing some serious games with me.  Or so I think he is.

“What’s the last thing you remember?”  He calls out to me.

I pause dead in my tracks.  What was the last thing I remember?  I turn around to face him.  “You mean besides this bizarre conversation I’m having with you?  You’re a complete stranger.  I do not know you.”

“Just think, Deanna,” he is practically begging me.  “Do you not remember anything before arriving at this beach house?  Do you even remember how you got here?”

“I live here.”

“Why are you living here?”  He starts asking me all these questions.  “Where did you live before this?  Do you have any friends or family?  When was the last time you left the beach?”

“I,” I begin to answer, not realizing my answer was going to be something completely different.  “Don’t know,” I finish.

I am truly trying to think about this.  The truth is, he’s speaking something to me that actually make sense.  It is at this very moment that I am realizing something.  “No,” I pretty much say to myself.

Oh God!  I think.  Why can’t I remember?  I can feel myself growing limp.  My pad and pencil falls to the ground, and I am about to fall but when I look up, Cody is holding me in his arms.  He then sits me down on the chair.  I feel like I should be remembering something; something important.

“This must be a breakthrough,” he begins.  “You’re willing to remember this time.”  I feel as he’s brushing his finger across my cheek to wipe away a tear I let escape.  “Please don’t cry.  I wasn’t trying to hurt you.”

I say, “For some reason, I believe you.”

“You do?”

“Yes.  But I don’t understand.  Why do I forget you every day?”

“What you went through was a tough ordeal.  Most would have perished by now but you’re tough.  You’re hanging in there for some reason.  I know that if you remember everything, you will want to come back to the land of the living.”

“Ten years is a long time,” I find myself saying.  “Why would you wait ten years?”

“I promised I’d be with you for all eternity.”

“All eternity,” I repeat.  The word, “eternity,” is ringing a bell.

Suddenly flashes of Cody’s face is popping up in my mind.  I somehow do remember him but it’s still all very vague.

“You’re remembering something, aren’t you?”  He asks.

“Yes, I-I think so.”  And then my mind flashes back again to something odd.  “Were we in high school together?  Did we ever do a play?”

“A play?”  He raises his eyebrow at me.

“Yeah,” I reply.  “It was a play based on Greek mythology.”

He smiles at me.  “You’re recalling very early memories.”

My eyes grow wide.  “Very early memories?”

“Yes.  We’ve been around since nearly the beginning of time.”

Okay, so in my head at this point in time, I am ready to run for the hills.

“That is not possible,” I protest.

He chuckles.  “And why not?”

“People don’t live very long.”

“We’re not just mere humans, my dear.”  His tone indicates he’s being very serious.

“No,” I say and got up to turn around.  “No. No. No. No. No.  This is not real.  You are not here and neither is this scenery.  You’re right though.  I am obviously dreaming and I need to wake up.  But I know when I wake up, you won’t be there and I’ll be home and in my bed.”

“Why do you think I am not real?”

“Because you’re me.”

“I’m you?”  His tone is questioning.

“Yes,” I answer.  “Freud said when we dream of others, we are dreaming of ourselves.”

“Freud was a cocaine addict and a womanizer.  All his theories were philosophical.  We used to laugh at him, remember?”

“No,” I candidly answer.

“And where do you think home is?”

“Home is,” I pause and turn back around.  “I don’t know.”  I feel sad again.  I plop myself back down in the chair.

I look all around me.  There had to be some kind of a logical explanation for all this.  I look down at the pencil and paper and come up with an idea.

“They say if you’re about to die in a dream, you wake up, am I right?”

“That’s not always the case,” Cody seems stumped by my question.  It’s right there that I realize we have never gone this far conversation wise.

“Well,” I say as I pick up the pencil.  “If I stab myself with this piece of wood, I should awake.”

“You don’t know that,” he says with worry.

“It’s worth a shot,” I say.  “I don’t know you.  I don’t remember you and the flashes that popped up were very vague.  I’m sorry.  I wish I could remember more but I don’t.”

“Surely you would remember something or else you wouldn’t have introduced yourself to me.”

“Maybe.  But this is far too bizarre and I don’t want to live another ten years on a beach, waking up every day, with you creeping up on me and saying things like this is the last that I’ll ever see this sun.  I mean, are we vampires or something?”

He laughs at my gesture.  “Those abominations?  Absolutely not.  But this is definitely a sign that you are remembering.  We were cursed because of the love we have for each other.  We die every day and at night we live together.  Then ten years ago, you died and when I woke up, I noticed you didn’t wake up.  You went into a coma.”

“How did that happen?”  I look at him with curiosity.

“I was working on something to break the curse and,” he changes the subject.  “I better not say anymore until you remember.”

“Alright then, Mr. Cryptic,” I respond.  “If you won’t tell me then I guess I have nothing left to lose.”

I take the pencil and jam it as hard as I can through me.  I can feel as it pierces through my esophagus and then my heart.

I start gasping for breath and that is when I notice my surroundings.  I am no longer at the beach house anymore.  I am lying in a bed that seems vaguely familiar, and someone is next to me sleeping.  I look over and notice it is Cody.  This is definitely weird.  I watch as he wakes up.

“Welcome back, finally.”  He sits up and gives me a big hug.

For some reason, I hug him back.  There is something so familiar about being around Cody, but I also know I need to figure things out.  I break free from him.

“Do you remember anything?”  I look up to see him speaking to me.  I look up into is big blue eyes, and suddenly waves of memories come flooding in.  I gasp at my realization, but also, I’m disappointed with myself.

I look down.  “Ten years,” I mutter to myself in question.

“What’s important is that you’re here now,” he answers my self-rhetorical question.

I look back up at him and smile.  It’s the only thing I can think to do.

“You are amazing,” I find myself say.

He smiles back at me.

For a brief moment, I feel happy until I start to think back to the dream-like state I’ve been in for the past ten years.  I look down again.

“I can’t believe he would do this to me,” I whisper.

“He will get what’s coming to him,” he replies.  Cody has always been that way.  He always knows what I’m talking about, even when I’m thinking out loud cryptically.

I give myself a mental shake and look up at him.  “Did you say something about working on a cure?”

“Yes.”

“Did you happen to make one?”

“Yes.”

“And have you taken it yet?”

“Not without you, my love.”

“You know you didn’t have to wait for me.”

“I know,” he replies.

“Then why wait?”  I ask.  “If you had walked away, I would understand.  Not to mention there could have been a good chance that the spell would have been lifted.  You could have been free.”

He leans over towards me, and I can feel my heart flutter.  After all this time, it never fails how he makes me feel.  His hand gently caresses my cheek, and softly his hand is cradling my neck.  He presses his lips to mine, and the flutter effect he has on me sends me back to a time of our first kiss.

I really can’t explain it other than it feels like everything in your body is tingling, and there is something flying around in your stomach.  It’s not a bad kind of fluttering around; it’s a good one.  It’s the kind of kiss that tells you this is your soul mate; this is the being you’re going to spend the rest of your life with.

I let out a small moan as the electricity is still coursing through my veins, even though it’s just a simple touch of the lips.  We break free and I open my eyes to find his blue eyes staring back at me.  The corners of his mouth form a smile.

“This is just one of the many reasons why I cannot ever leave you,” he says.

I release my breath, realizing I had stopped breathing for a few moments, and smile back at him.  I compose myself.

“Let’s see if this is the right cure.”

“Oh, I’m pretty sure this is the right cure,” he answers.

“Let’s do this,” I sound impatient now.

“Way ahead of you,” he says as he is holding two vials of liquid.  He hands me one.

We both drink together.

“I don’t feel any different,” I tell him.

“We’ll just have to wait.  It’ll be dawn in an hour.”

“If we live, we will go.”

His face turns to a frown.  “Are you sure you want to do this?”

I nod.  “I have to.  He is my father and for some reason, he has never liked the idea of me being with you.  We have been on different sides.  But I need to tell him he can’t control me like this anymore.  After all I am thousands of years old.  It’s time he stops treating me like a little girl.”

Cody smiles again.  “So you do remember?  Everything?”

“It’s all coming back in bits and pieces,” I admit.  “Boy, we sure have a long line of history together.”

“We sure do,” he replies.

We sit and wait for the hour to pass by.  I am mostly trying to gather all my thoughts.  I don’t know how I get myself into these situations, and even though we have this strong connection, I don’t know why Cody is always there for me.

He has always pulled me out of every single situation I’ve ever been in.  Of course, most of my troubles happen because I’m with Cody, which are caused by my father.  However, Cody doesn’t see any of that; he just wants to be with me.  And I know that I will always be in love with him no matter what.

“Deanna,” I look up and notice Cody’s eyes upon mine.  It’s so funny hearing him call my name.

I don’t mean it’s funny per se.  I mean it’s strange, foreign to me.  I’ve known along the lines my name is Deanna, but I also know that wasn’t my birth name given to me.  It’s the little things—like my name, and the color of my eyes—that I am having trouble with remembering.

“Are you alright?”  He breaks my reverie, but I’m still staring into his eyes.

“My eyes,” I whisper.

“Your eyes?”

“What color are they?”

“Green.”

“Is there a reflection I can look at?”

He looks at me funny.

“What?”  I ask.

“You said, ‘Reflection.’”

“And?”

“Well,” he scratches his head for a moment.  I can tell he’s trying to figure out a way to tell me something politely.  “The term is ‘mirror’ these days.  ‘Reflection’ hasn’t been used for centuries at least.”

“Oh.”  I look away from him.  Of course I know the term is mirror.  Why did I use such an old word as reflection?

“Here you are,” Cody speaks.  I look up to see he has a mirror in his hand.  I gently take it and look in the mirror.

My eyes are an emerald green color.  I don’t even think that’s a normal eye color to have, but it seems to compliment my olive toned skin.  I look at my hair, and I place a strand in my hand to observe it better in my reflection.

My hair is long and straight.  It’s also dark brown.

“It turns red in the sunlight,” I look away to see Cody speaking to me.

“Red,” I murmur.

“Yes.  You would say it was a burgundy color.”

“Like my mother,” I find myself say.

“Yes,” his tone is sullen.  I can tell he feels sorry for me.

I notice my eyes are wet.  I wipe away my tears and try to focus on something else.

“Is it daylight yet?”

“It’s been daylight for at least the past five minutes already.”

“That means the potion worked.”

“Yes it did,” he replies.

“Let’s head out,” I say.

“It sounds good to me.”

We both head out to speak to my father.  I feel so alive because for the first time in centuries, I am not dead during the day, missing the warmth of the sunlight.  And for the first time in a decade, I am not dreaming of a fake enjoyment on the beach.

I may not remember everything, but I remember enough.  And I am ever so grateful that Cody hadn’t given up on me.  I cannot imagine my world without him; I know this much.  I know with him by my side, all will be alright.

*

I guess I never did explain what I am.  You see, my mother was human and my father was one of the angels that was cast down from heaven into hell with Lucifer and other fallen angels.  Cody, on the other hand, had a human father and an angel mother that was not cast down from heaven.

His mother’s missions were to be placed here on earth.  And as Nephilim, we are neither cast to spend eternity in heaven or hell.  It’s earth.  And while some of us are bad, not all of us are.  But that’s another story for another time.

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©DJ 6/1/13

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