The Red


The Red
11/01/07 by ©D.J.

As the rage engulfed me like water eroding land
I saw your face as you tried to grab my hand

My rage was so blind, I was feeling intoxicated
Amnesia sets in; my hatred now has faded

Now the time is here for the sound of silence
Sadness is now in control over the violence

A wave of tears has now come pouring down
Cooling the heat of my once bitter frown

The red was here with me teasing and offending
Now it’s gone, and suffering needs some mending

Apologies are ready at hand to be passed around
For anger has fallen past the shadows underground



From my brown, green, and amber eyes
Flowing down to your treacherous lies
Is where the lonely sea prevails
Through your mouth, and out your heart
Is where our souls are slowly drifting apart
Welcome to my world of darkness
If you find yourself afraid, living in my dark dreams
It’s only in your mind you perceive what it seems
For the mind and the soul can be full of tricks
Despite the words of a shattered pact
Beauty awakens the soul to act*
And I know you can never hurt me again
Cause as I’ve been beaten, blow by blow
I have learned enough lessons to grow
And to become more evolved
©DJ 8/21/14
 *Beauty awakens the soul to act    —–> Dante Alighieri quote.  

My Time Is Up

This write is for a group I blog in.  If you’d like to join, click on the link below:

Blogophilia (CLICK HERE!)

Hey Everyone!

Wow!!!  This is some topic!!!  I really have no idea what to make of it, other than as always, it reminds me of a song…

“What am I? A clown for your amusement?”  That’s always been one of my favorite lines to say.  I feel like a damn clown to tell the truth.  I ain’t too proud to beg, but I do if necessary when I need something.  Well as most of you know, I’m a caretaker.  I care for my other half.  Dialysis and doctors appointments galore.  It leaves very little room to go job hunting.  Besides, I’m over-qualified for a job like Publix, and I’m under-qualified for a teaching job since I only have an associate’s degree in Communications.

Most places only hire part-time now-a-days because they don’t want to cough up the money to pay for medical benefits.  And I don’t mind working part-time.  It’s funny because at some point, you were saying I need a job for the money.  Now you’re saying I need a job for the medical benefits.  Unfortunately for me, I can’t get a job and therefore, there are no medical benefits coming my way.  Why?

1.) My son (My ONLY child, BTW) turned 18, and therefore I do not have a minor child living in the house.

2.) I am NOT disabled.

3.) I am not pregnant.

It seems as though I’ve been punished for being a caretaker and stopping after having one child.  Well, that’s what the letter from the post office read.  Oh, no!  Wait a minute!!!  Please, Mr. Postman!!!  Take this letter back!!!  And tell me this isn’t so….

Ah, welcome to America!!!  Where nothing you ever do is good enough, and all anyone does is discourage you and make you feel like sh*t for not having a job and for not having like 10 kids or so.

Our time is up…More like my time is up.  I guess I miscalculated my plans and now everything is all sorts of f*cked up.  I feel like crying, but I’m going to try to not focus on the fact that I care for someone who’s dying and relies on me to help him out.  Because no one cares if you’re working for free.

Until next time…



Where to Begin? (W/Pictures)

Hey Everyone!!!

I had so much to write about.  But there’s been too much confusion going on these days.  I promised myself a blog a week…Which I have been doing….via Facebook notes LOL.  That’s not really a blog life, is it?

I was blogging through a blogging group, and well, it kinda got overwhelming with all the tags and ooh, ooh, like this, like that.  And the comments!!!!  OH *rolls eyes* the comments!!!!

I got tired of getting notifications, and frankly, I got tired of people picking out one thing that I wrote that did NOT pertain to my story, and give me a speech on how they could relate to my situation.

Give. Me. A. Break!!!!

Where was I?

Oh, I won’t look back.  Time’s passes, and so have I.

In other news…I started this 100 happy days thing.  I know, ironic for me because I’m so down all the time.  But it’s for people like me who are down all the time.  This will be the ultimate challenge for me.  If you’re interested in participating, click here:


I decided to participate via Instagram.  Depending on which blog you’re looking at being either blogger or WordPress, I’ll show you what I’ve posted so far.  I’m onto day 5 now.

Day: 1:  I love crafts.  This is from the Rainbow Loom kit I have.


Day 2:  I’m the one in black.  It was my cousin’s birthday (She’s the one in the dress)
Day 3:  Beautiful sunset.


Day 4:  Discovering Pandora radio on my Amazon Fire TV. The Red (It’s the name of a band) had the best playlist.


Day 5:  Me at 12 years of age.  Also a Throwback Thursday day. #TBT

If you do happen to stumble upon Instagram, my URL name is Diana Jillian

That’s all for now.

Until next time…