They say, “Hey, smile”
Then they take it all away
And then there’s nothing.

5/15/13, Thursday ©Diana Jillian



Have you ever had depression say to you, “Psst!  Hey!  Let’s end it all!”  And you think to yourself, Yeah!  That would be a great idea!

But as always, logic comes in and says, “But how will you do it?  Hanging sounds painful, and you could still be alive.  So is shooting yourself.  Sleeping pills sounds good, but when will you be able to take them without freaking out everyone?  I mean, do you want them to find you dead, or in the hospital after you’ve had your stomach pumped?  What if there really is a God, and it is frowned upon to kill yourself?  What if there is an afterlife, and you only get punished even more than you’re being punished now?”

Logic never shuts up.  He/She keeps on going.  “And who will take care of your dogs and bird?  Who will make sure the husband doesn’t drive himself off a cliff after dialysis with a blood pressure reading of 80 over 15?   Does he even know what pills he needs to take?  Cholesterol?  Blood Pressure?  Anti-Depressants?  Does he know how to use the insulin pen?”

He/She doesn’t stop there.  “And what about your son?  Yeah, sure he’s 18…Almost 19 now.  But he forgets to take his shots.  He still needs someone to kick him in the butt and remind him to keep plugging at it for his high school diploma, because that’s important.”

Depression says nothing.

Love steps in and says, “Yes, no one will be able to take care of them, but that’s why depression is there.  Depression is around because Self isn’t taking care of itself.”

Alright, so there’s this whole battle going on inside my head.  Everyone thinks they know what’s best for me, but I’m the one that has to have the best judgment.

Last night was pretty bad. I had a rotten day, and then my husband was joking around with me.  Instead of laughing, I cried.  I CRIED!!!

Today, I told someone I’d work for them, but I had no idea they would pull these last-minute conditions on me.  Now I have to pick up kids in an un-air-conditioned bus!!!!  To top it off, the building still has no air.

So yeah, it’s depressed me.  And then I think I can go to my one and only salvation online…only to find out the notifications aren’t even for me.

It’s not anything really, but for me, it was the icing on the cake.

What’s even worse is I have to get up very early in the morning….And I’m wasting my time venting on a blog rather than writing the story I have in my head…And for what?  Because I’m hurt, and no one cares.

No one wants to hear you complain.  It’s so funny, because all I do is hear EVERYONE in my life complain…But when I do it, no one wants to hear it…

So here’s to another blog that goes ignored…



To catch up, here are the links to the following chapters:

Chapter 1

Chapter 2



Saturday, February 17, 2007

Mary hasn’t had a wink of sleep yet.  She had a fabulous time last night, watching a movie with Jeremiah.  Once the night ended, her mind felt wound up a bit.  She needed to know more about her family tree.  She especially wanted to know more on the history of the women in her family.  Surely there had to have been old family journals lying around somewhere.

This house that Mary resides in has been passed down through generations.  The house was the first house built in this town.  It was built sometime in the nineteenth century.  People wouldn’t come to discover this town until at least a century later.

Of course with old houses, comes fixing up the house, as well as many old secret hiding places.  The basement is big enough to keep a washer and dryer there; to have a couch and a television down there; and there is a hole in the wall where the boiler room is.  Mary is bound to find something one way or another.

Entering into the hole of the basement before the boiler room, Mary turns on the light.  Why am I doing this?  Mary asks herself in thought.  Then she recalled what happened just as the movie ended and Jeremiah left.  She felt a strange sensation.

The sensation she felt was so strong, it practically overpowered her.  There’s a feeling nagging at her to find something.  She doesn’t know what she’s looking for, but she will know once she sees it.  Hours have passed, and she’s still digging through shelves and books to see if something will appear.  Something.  Anything.  It has to be here somewhere, she thinks.  As she puts the last book back on the shelf, she hears a hollow sound against the wall.

She gasps in hopes this is a secret passage of some sort.  She carefully pulls all the books off the shelf, and starts knocking on the wall to see if she can find that hollow spot again.  Surely there has to be an opening somewhere.  She is so tired and dizzy she loses her composure a bit, and accidentally pushes into the wall.  Suddenly the wall opens up.

She notices it’s a hidden shelf, as wide as the opening space the shelves leave on the wall.  She starts digging through and pulls out a book.  It reads:

The Women of History

That is so strange, she thinks.  Mary is wondering if she can conjure things, but she knows it’s impossible, or is it?  She’s never really known much about her family being able to conjure.  Telekinesis, empathy, and casting spells are the only thing she’s pretty much sure runs in her family.  She casts this out of her mind, and decides to look inside the book.

Inside the book, she finds names of her ancestors.  She notices they don’t have last names, but rather faked their last names.  Usually only royalty or rock stars don’t use a last name.  One name in the book is said to be her great-grandmother.  Her name was Mabel Sunshine.  What a funny name, she thought considering a name like Sunshine was more of a nineteen-sixties hippie name.  She continues looking and turns the page.

As she turns the page, a photo falls out of the book.  She bends down to pick it up, and suddenly she is singing the Time Warp song.

♪♫With a bit of a mind flip

You’re into a time slip

And nothing can ever be the same

You’re spaced out on sensation

Like you’re under sedation

Let’s do the time warp again♪♫

“This can’t be!”  She exclaims to no one.  Suddenly she feels hot and sweaty.  She feels almost as if she’s walking a tightrope, but instead of a tightrope, it’s a worn out clothesline.  She decides to call Jeremiah and have him come over.

When he arrives, he sees what is inside her head.  Feeling disbelief, he follows her down to the basement where they look at the picture together.

She’s staring at a young girl, seventeen years of age, with light blonde hair set in curls, and big brown eyes.  She’s happy in this picture, and it looks like she’s at a dance of some sort.  Mary is very much into fashion and recognizes the dress and hair-sprayed hair is definitely a look from the late nineteen-eighties, to possibly the early nineteen-nineties.  The girl in the picture is Mary.

She would recognize her own face, and perhaps she can understand if she was there to take the picture, but she knows she wasn’t there.  And then there was the guy standing next to her in the picture.  She feels like she’s been thrown into the wolves den or something.  The guy in the picture is definitely Jeremiah.

“That’s me,” he says.  “But it can’t be.  I was somewhere else during that prom.”

Mary is taken aback.  She stares at him with wide eyes.  “You went to prom twenty years ago?”

“Surely you must have known,” he replies.  “I know you thought I was Jonathan for a brief moment.  I don’t know how you knew, but I am Jonathan Thompson.”

“Wait,” Mary interrupts.  “You’ve been reading my mind?”

“At times,” he admits.  “But sometimes your shield is up and I can’t always read your mind.”

Mary shakes her head in disbelief.  “So you’re telling me you’re like me?  You’re a gypsy too?  Why didn’t you tell me this sooner?”

Jeremiah is in thinking mode.  He is trying to find a way to carefully explain to Mary what he wants to say.  Mary waits patiently for him to speak.

“I was once like you,” he finally speaks.  “But then an accident happened, and now I’m,” he pauses.  “Different.”

“What do you mean by ‘different’?  She raises an eyebrow.

“I think you already know,” he answers.

She doesn’t say anything more about it.  She changes the subject.  “And what about that girl in the picture?  Was there another girl that looked like me out there?  Is that why you’ve taken an interest in me?”

“I really don’t know anything about that picture,” he answers candidly.  “I have never seen another face like yours until a few months ago when I first saw you.”

“A few months ago,” she whispers.  “That’s when you were new to school.”

“Yes,” he answers.

“How come you never spoke to me before then?”

“The opportunity never came up until assignment day,” he confesses.

“How did you even know I would be paired up with you?”

“I set it up that way.”


“I think you know how,” he replies.

She shakes her head.  “Why do you keep saying that?”

♪♫And if I say to you tomorrow

Take my hand child, come with me

It’s to a castle I will take you

Where what’s to be, they say will be

♪♫Catch the wind

See us spin

Sail away

Leave today

Way up high

In the sky

♪♫But the wind won’t blow

You really shouldn’t go

It only goes to show

That you will be mine

By taking our time♪♫

Mary rapidly opens her eyes, and she realizes she’s in her bed.  Her headphones are in her ears, and she is now aware the song What Is And What Should Never Be by Led Zeppelin is playing.  She removes the headphones, and knows she was just dreaming.

There’s no way Jeremiah could be the dead back to life, could it?  All these thoughts swirl around Mary’s head as she gets out of bed, and heads to the shower.


To catch up, here are the links to the following chapters:

Chapter 1

Chapter 2




(In case you’ve never heard the song, or do not plan on listening to it.)

I linger in the doorway

Of alarm clock screaming

Monsters calling my name

Let me stay

Where the wind will whisper to me

Where the raindrops, as they’re falling, tell a story


In my field of paper flowers

And candy clouds of lullaby (flowers)

I lie inside myself for hours

And watch my purple sky fly over me (flowers)

Don’t say I’m out of touch

With this rampant chaos – your reality

I know well what lies beyond my sleeping refuge

The nightmare I built my own world to escape


Swallowed up in the sound of my screaming

Cannot cease for the fear of silent nights

Oh, how I long for the deep sleep dreaming

The goddess of imaginary light


Friday, February 16th, 2007

The one thing that Mary likes the best are the pep rallies, which was her only decision not to quit the cheer team to begin with.

High school sport games are the only time when Mary feels the happiest.  The good-feeling emotions out weigh the bad emotions at a game.  It seems like everyone puts away their petty problems whenever there’s a game.  That’s how Mary feels, anyway.

This week turned out to be a pretty good week for Mary.  She was worried about having a partner for her project because she didn’t want feelings to be involved.  By feelings, she didn’t want to have to go through the emotions of feeling what others are feeling.  Luckily for Mary, she was given the perfect partner.

Jeremiah is the only boy in school she can’t get a reading off of.  She doesn’t know why she can’t feel his feelings, and she doesn’t care.  The only thing she knows is she’s happy around him, much like she’s happy at pep rallies and games.  She’s mostly happy because she doesn’t have to get into the mixed emotions like how she gets around her fellow peers at school.  For her, it can be exhausting.

Some people unknowingly tend to feed off the energy of happy people.  Maybe they do realize this.  Mary knows, but even though she knows, she would like to think there is still some unknown innocence to the world.  It doesn’t matter now, she thinks to herself.  She shrugs off the little thoughts and heads to her car.  Unbeknownst to her, someone is already waiting for her by her car.  Only, it’s not just anyone; it’s Jeremiah.

Well, at least she thinks it’s him.  It’s hard to tell when you’re about a hundred-feet away from your car.  She’s guessing it’s him because she can see his pale complexion shining bright despite the street light in the parking lot being so dim.

She stops for a minute to look around, but everyone is gone now.  The parking lot is completely empty.  They must have all gone to get pizza, she thinks to herself.  She should have paid better attention to everyone leaving, but as soon as the game ended, her headphones were back in her ears.  Imaginary is the song that’s playing right now.

♪♫♪♫♪♫ In my field of paper flowers.  And candy clouds of lullaby.  I lie inside myself for hours.  And watch my purple sky fly over me. ♪♫♪♫♪♫

She turns off her MP3 player, pulls her buds out of her ears, and heads to her car where she suddenly realizes it’s not Jeremiah waiting for her, but her ex-boyfriend.  Billy “Brave” Jackson is his name.  Everyone calls him Brave; they really don’t know to call him by any other name.  Brave is the quarterback for the school’s team.  He’s the typical high-school jock, with typical high-school movie based looks.

Brave has dirty-blonde hair and light green eyes.  He has a golden tone to his skin, thanks to weekly trips to the tanning salon.  Mary should have noticed sooner that Brave was waiting for her, or at least she should have felt something from him.  As she walks closer to him, she feels his energy; he’s drunk.

She wasn’t paying close enough attention before, but she is now.  This past week, Mary’s been working on a project with Jeremiah.  The more she got to know him, the more she decided she likes him.  He’s not like the other boys at school.

Besides her not being able to read his feelings, Jeremiah seems relaxed; almost as if he feels comfortable in his own skin.  He knows how to take a serious situation and make light out of it.  She liked getting to know him, and she thought for sure he was the one waiting for her by her car, not Brave.  She’s trying to recall her conversation with him after they turned in their project.


The bell rang, and the class left.  Mary started walking down the hall when Jeremiah called out to her.

As he caught up to her he asked, “What are you doing after school today?”

“Tonight’s a big game,” she replied.  “I have to practice, and then it’s game time.  The game is home tonight.”

“Oh,” he answered.

“What?”  Mary began.  “Have you never gone to a game before?”

He looked away, sucked in a deep breath, and said in his best James Dean voice, “It’s not really my thing, you know?”

She nodded.  If anything, she understood not wanting to be there.  And yet, how could she explain that it’s one of her very few places to be that makes her happy?  The first would be in her room, the second at a game, cheering on the team, and now her new place, hanging around Jeremiah.

She gave herself a mental shake and spoke.  “Well the game starts at seven, and usually lets out around ten, ten-thirty.  Everyone’s going for pizza, but I’m just going home.”

“So crowds aren’t really your thing either, huh?”  He teased her.

“There’s a lot you don’t know,” she found herself say.

The second bell rang, and she suddenly felt relieved.  Mary had only started talking to Jeremiah earlier that week.  There’s plenty of time before telling the truth of what she is.

“Catch you later,” she said as she hurried off to her next class.


Mary suddenly realized that the street light makes anyone look pale.  As tan as Brave is, he looks very pallid.  It’s only her eyes deceiving her.  She didn’t sense Brave near because she was too far away, and sometimes being drunk can block frequencies of feelings.  Well, sometimes it can, but not in Brave’s case.

Brave is completely inebriated.  She also senses he feels hurt by them breaking up.  In Mary’s defense, it was all his fault.  Every time Mary was busy, her frenemy Stacy was not.  Brave and Stacy had spent too much together and one night at a party not too long ago, Mary got a call from Stacy to come and get her because she was too drunk to drive.

It’s hard to sense feelings over the phone, and Mary is not exactly a mind reader to know the full extent of someone’s evil plans.  However, when Mary arrived at the party to pick up a drunk Stacy, she found her in a room with Brave.  Whatever doubts Mary had of a future with her and Brave were, they were all rectified the moment she saw them two together.

Mary never really said much to either one of them.  She thought it was pretty much stated that things were over between Mary and Brave.  But Brave didn’t see things that way, and that was a problem for Mary.

Brave blames that night on his drinking, but even drunk, people know what they’re doing.  Everyone thinks they can fool Mary, but you can’t truly fool an empath.  Let them believe what they want, she once told herself.  They’re the ones who will be sorry when high school is over, and the real world begins.  That’s in the near future; she has to deal with what’s right in front of her.

She thinks carefully of what to say to Brave.  To tell the truth, she feels anything she says to him will set him off.  She approaches her car and decides to stand there.  She figures to wait for him to say something.

She notices he has these weird feelings inside of him.  She prays that he would turn his emotions around, and go home to sleep.  She really doesn’t want to have a conversation with him to where no matter what she answers, it will be the wrong one.

Suddenly out of nowhere, Mary felt his mood change.  He went from feeling lustful, angered and hurt, into sleepy.  She watches on as he walks away.  Hopefully he’s heading home.  With a sigh of relief, she unlocks her car.  Just before she opens the car door, she feels a pair of eyes fixated on her.  She turns around to find Jeremiah standing before her.


Earlier that day after the second bell rang, Jeremiah noticed Mary’s ex-boyfriend Brave, staring at him.  He could read every primitive thought going on in Brave’s head.  He thinks Mary is his property and is willing to crush, possibly kill, anyone who gets in his way.

While Jeremiah could understand what Brave was thinking, he couldn’t understand the barbaric ways behind it.  Perhaps it’s because he’s still just a kid, Jeremiah thought to himself.  But then again, so is Mary, and she doesn’t think that way at all.  She seems like an old soul.

She is so kind and caring, and she has this magnetic personality to her, it would be hard to let someone like her slip through their fingers.  Not only that, Jeremiah kept on thinking, but she smells like she walked out of a fragrance bar.

Today she smelled like Vanilla.  On Monday, she smelled like lilac.  Tuesday was strawberry; Wednesday was Jasmine.  Yesterday, she smelled like cinnamon.  But her scent didn’t matter to him.  No.  Jeremiah suddenly felt like he had a strange sensation to protect her.

He knew Brave was going to show up and try to convince Mary to give him another chance.  He also knew if Mary said no to Brave, she would face some dire consequences.  So he went to the game, hiding in the shadows, but to tell the truth, he really didn’t need to protect her.

He saw Brave standing by Mary’s car, drunk out of his gourd, just as how Jeremiah saw in Brave’s mind earlier that day.  However, he didn’t expect Brave to walk away the way he did.  After reading Mary’s thoughts on how she wished Brave would go home and sleep, Jeremiah realized her powers were growing stronger by the day.


“How much did you see?”  Mary asks.

“Not much,” Jeremiah lies.  “I was meaning to get here earlier, but I had some chores to do and–”

“It’s alright,” Mary interrupts.  “I’m glad you’re here.”

“You are?”  His eyes lift up in surprise.  He didn’t even get a thought from her that even remotely showed gratitude in any way.  Maybe she’s learning how to shield herself more.

Mary surprised herself by saying that to him.  She barely knows him.  Why would she say that?  She gives herself a mental shake.

“Do you like watching old movies?”  She asks in hopes to change the subject without him expecting an answer from her.

“I love them,” he answers candidly.

“Really?”  She looks at him shocked.  Brave never liked watching old movies with her.  “Are you the kind that’s only into monster movies?”

“Au contraire,” he replies.  “I like everything.  Even silent films.”

Mary’s face lights up like a candle upon hearing his words.

“Well, there is a television in my basement,” she slowly says.  “I have this movie from nineteen-seventy-four called Young Frankenstein.  Have you ever seen it?”

“It only a classic,” he says.

“Would you like to come over and watch the movie with me?”

“Wouldn’t your parents be upset?  It is pretty late.”

“My parents and brother should be at the lake house by now.  So, what do you say?”

“Sounds good,” he answers.  He caught himself just in time.  He almost said, “It’s a date,” but luckily for him, he changed his words.

Jeremiah hopped into the car with Mary, and they headed to her house to watch the movie.


Mary has the popcorn and drinks handy for their movie-watching night.  She likes the light-hearted movies that doesn’t make her think or feel empathy.  Even though there aren’t any funny or happy movies that doesn’t have a sad moment in it, but that’s how the writers work.  They want people to know there has to be some kind of reality to all of it, even if it’s a movie about unicorns.

While she still feels something watching the movies, she feels better watching the funny comedies.  She wonders though if sometimes she feels the original emotions of what the actors were feeling at times.  She shrugs it all off as she hears the following dialogue:

Igor: Dr. Frankenstein…

Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: “Fronkensteen.”

Igor: You’re putting me on.

Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: No, it’s pronounced “Fronkensteen.”

Igor: Do you also say “Froaderick”?

Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: No… “Frederick.”

Igor: Well, why isn’t it “Froaderick Fronkensteen”?

Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: It isn’t; it’s “Frederick Fronkensteen.”

Igor: I see.

Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: You must be Igor.

[He pronounces it ee-gor]

Igor: No, it’s pronounced “eye-gor.”

Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: But they told me it was “ee-gor.”

Igor: Well, they were wrong then, weren’t they? 

Mary’s giggling so much, she hadn’t given notice to Jeremiah staring at her.  She finally looks up and sees him.  Staring into his blue eyes, she knows he has stories to tell.  She suddenly goes from smiling, to feeling a lump in her throat.  She breaks the stare by clearing her throat as if indicating she needs a drink of water from eating all the popcorn.

She reaches down to grab a bottle of water, she opens the cap, and takes a few sips.  When she’s done, she puts the cap back on and places it back down on the ground.  When she goes to sit back to watch the movie, she notices Jeremiah is watching the movie again.

Perhaps she thought there was a moment between the two of them, but she could be wrong.  Whenever it comes to matters of her own heart, she doesn’t seem to have the best judgement.  Only time will tell where the two of them end up.



Chapter 1



By ©Diana Jillian

Monday, February 12th, 2007  18:00

Mary turns to walk away.  Not because of what he feels–because she can’t feel his feelings–but because of her embarrassment.  How in the world did he know she would be hiding out behind the library building?

He gently grabs her by the shoulder to turn her around.  She doesn’t bother to look up.

He says, “‘Fear is the path to the dark side.  Fear leads to anger.  Anger leads to hate.  Hate leads to suffering.'”

Out of nowhere, Mary bursts out laughing.  “Quoting Yoda,” she finally says.  She looks up at his face for the first time, and notices his smile.  She’s never seen him smile before.

He has a straight, white, perfect smile.  Almost too perfect in her mind.  Perhaps he had braces before.  Whatever it was about his smile, it shows character; a kind character about him.  She felt as if she could trust him somehow, but this is their first time meeting–in person, that is–it’ll take a long time before she can feel that bond with him.

Love on the rocks/Ain’t no surprise/Pour me a drink, and I’ll tell you some lies/Got nothing to lose,/So you sing the blues, all the time

Realizing she still has her earbuds in her ears, she pulls them out.  She didn’t remember adding Neil Diamond to her collection, but anything is possible with her.  It could have been a mix-up and had been added after Phobia by Breaking Benjamin was added.  That has been known to happen before.

Jeremiah watches as Mary pulls those headphones off and looks down.  He knows what’s going on, but doesn’t want to let her know.  He doesn’t want to risk freaking her out any more than she already is.

Breathe in, breathe out, he thinks to himself.  He doesn’t want to come off as some kind of monster like King Kong, or even an ancient sea monster like a leviathan.  She can’t know yet that he’s like her, only he can read minds.  He finds her thoughts intriguing.

She doesn’t think like the rest of her peers.  She thinks in manners that seem like she doesn’t belong in this decade.  Perhaps the nineteen-twenties, maybe.  While other girls her age are thinking about being popular, Mary is thinking about traveling for a while.

He gives himself a mental shake and proceeds to speak, “Is everything alright?”

Mary looks up at him and smiles.  She feels the library is pretty quiet now.

“Yeah,” she answers.  “Let’s go inside to work on our project.”


This is a chapter series I am working on…


By Diana Jillian


Monday, February 12th, 2007  17:30

Mary Pratt couldn’t handle watching a movie like Steel Magnolias, especially after the scene where the daughter was having a diabetic seizure.  It was almost like she could feel the moment happening….again.

Yes, it’s just a movie, but to her, it’s reality.  Her younger brother has been a diabetic for years, and as a result, he has had seizures before.  This was how Mary knew she was different from the rest of her family.  She was starting to become an empath, and only to learn in the end empathy, among many other kinds of powers, run in her family.

Well, not exactly in her immediate family.  Her mother had the power, but chose to give it up when she met a regular human.  They fell in love and got married, and then Mary was born…And eventually Toby came along several years later.

Mary is very popular despite having received her powers.  Even though she knows how others feel about her, they don’t exactly say it out loud, but she knows.  There are some out there that genuinely care for Mary.  She’s often noticed many times it’s the kids that are considered outcasts, and she’s alright with that.

In Mary’s eyes, she believes that eventually the outcasts often become popular in adult hood.  For now, for the next few more months, this is still high school.  Being in high school, no one is truly your friend; everyone is out for themselves, or so it seems that way.

Despite all of this, Mary lives by the mantra of faking it till you make it.  Even though there are some sad scenes, she does love the movie for their quotes.  Her favorite one is, “Smile–it increases your face value.”  From what she can feel from others, no one suspects she knows what they feel.

For as long as Mary can, she will not let anyone know she’s an empath, and to do so, she has had to do some pretty gruesome things to keep it under control.  Every day she practices smiling through rough emotions in order to keep herself in check.  This includes cutting herself.  Inflicting pain physically and emotionally is how she gets through it all.  And so, she forces herself to watch such movies as Steel Magnolias to begin with.  The diabetes part was sad only because it truly does remind her of her younger brother.

Mary has watched Toby go into seizures due to diabetes.  They would get so bad, she had to call an ambulance on more than one occasion.  Now-a-days it’s more under control, but you never know.

There will be more technology soon, but only time will tell.  In any case, Mary is dreading her homework assignment that’s due on Friday.  She actually has to pair up with a partner, and not just any partner.  This partner is a tad different from the rest of the people she’s around on a daily basis.

While she can feel emotions, she tends to block them out–well, as best as she can–by putting some headphones on her ears, and listening to her MP3 player.  She likes taking her CD’s and downloading them onto her player.  Her favorite one is Breaking Benjamin’s Phobia.  It was released about six months ago, but she never gets tired of listening to it.

The album is an expression for her.  If she could write, this is probably exactly what she would write.  If she had the choice, she’d be a shut-in for the rest of her life and never leave her house.  Some emotions are just too much, but her partner she’s paired with, that’s a completely different story.

She’s lucky she lives in a small town of Hewlett, because she knows just about everyone that lives here.  She even knows her elderly neighbors, and always has pleasant thoughts about them.  That’s because the only emotion she feels from them are love and care.  It gives her a nice feeling to know there are still kind and caring people out there in the world.  She wonders if her peers will change with age, or if they’ll just stay the same the rest of their lives.

But Jeremiah Thompson–the boy she’s paired with on this assignment–she can’t get a read off of him.  Nothing.  Mary can only observe Jeremiah from afar.  She notices he seems to be a bit of a loner, and he seems over-protective when it comes to his sister–even though she’s only a grade under him.  When Mary, Jeremiah, and the rest of her peers graduate at the end of June this year, Sally–Jeremiah’s sister–will be leaving her junior year, and entering her senior year in September.

Jeremiah and Sally also seem like complete opposites as far as siblings.  Sally has blonde hair, blue eyes, and a tan complexion.  Jeremiah has the same blue eyes, but that’s about it.  His hair is brown but he dyes it black, and his complexion is fair.  She knows something is not right with him, but she doesn’t know for sure.

At one point she could have sworn that Jeremiah was named Jonathan, and that he had attended school before–right about the time Mary was old enough to walk and talk.  But then she was informed by another classmate Jeremiah was the cousin of Jonathan, and that Jonathan and his family left years ago, causing Jeremiah’s family to move in and become caretaker of Jonathan’s old home.

Mary remembered those words and is still glad she never uttered her ridiculous theory that Jeremiah is indeed Jonathan.  But still, even if Jonathan were pretending to be his younger cousin Jeremiah, how would Jonathan still look like a kid?  Yes, twenty-seven isn’t old, but there are features on a person in their late twenties-to-early-thirties that a seventeen-year old doesn’t have.

For one thing, the build of any human changes with age.  You either become skinnier, or you bulk up.  The body is never the same.  Jeremiah is tall, about six-foot-two, and is very slender.  Also features in the face seem to lose baby fat or something changes like the nose or the ears or, something.  No, instead, Jeremiah looks like your typical, average teenager.

Alright, he is a typical teenager, except for the pallid skin.  It’s expected to have pale skin in the north during the winter, but his skin tone practically matches with the color of fresh snow.  Her thoughts about him drift away as the song “You” pops up on her player.  She hums along as she is walking the way less traveled, along this dark evening, heading towards the library.

She looks up and notices the moon.  There should be a full moon coming up soon, she thinks to herself.  She doesn’t know why she just thought of that, but she always has.  Mary has always been drawn to the moon.  She feels that phases of the moon bring out different personalities of people.  Those are the days she tries to stay home, and watch the moon from the window in her bedroom.

She brings her mind back to the present when she realizes she’s nearing the library.  She knows because she can feel all the emotions all swarmed up in there.  She knows her fellow classmates are in that library too, working on their research as well.

Why did Mary have to get stuck with a partner?  Couldn’t she have just looked up rain forests and waterfalls on the computer?  No.  Her teacher wants the students to do their research the old fashioned way.

Don’t Go Chasing Waterfalls

“What if some day the computer goes down?”  Mr. Wallace, their science teacher said earlier in class today.  “You would have to know how to look things up the old-fashioned way.  Go to your local library and look up newspaper articles, encyclopedias, books, anything but Google, and show me your research and proof by citing your sources.  I’ll know if you Googled or not.”

Mary knows this is more than half her grade, and she also knows if she does not pass, she will have to take this class again in summer school.  She just wants to be as far away from people as possible right now.  She takes a deep breath and starts to head in, when she can feel her frenemy Anastasia Anderson, nearby.

Stacy–her name short for Anastasia–can be a good friend.  They’ve been friends since Kindergarten.  But when Mary started to develop empathy, she knew Stacy was jealous of her.  Usually Mary can fake her way around Stacy, but she feels so exhausted and overwhelmed right now because of having to complete this project and working with someone.  She decides to hide at the back of the building until Stacy leaves.

Little did she expect when she turned to the corner of the building to hide, she would bump into someone who seems like he’s been waiting for her.  Like he expected to see Mary behind the library at the exact same time.

She looks at him in shock, but he seems undaunted by her shocked appearance.

“Are you ready to work on the project?”  Jeremiah asks.