Troubled Mind

The picture that started it all….

The end to end all friendships….


Has caused trouble between me and a now called ex-friend…

Telling me I was troubled

Because it’s what the boy said in the movie

But he says, “Stay Gold,” upon his deathbed.

“Stay Golden,” to me, means to always be you

To be beautiful…

And to never misconstrue it to be

Any other than just that….

The thoughts weighed heavy on my mind

As I was accused to seek help

As I was told I was scaring them!!!

I am shocked beyond disbelief.

Another to use me as a scapegoat

I am hurt

I am heartbroken

I just never expected this…


Not a betrayal

Out from the one person I thought was my dear friend.

How can I be sad when I’m in a good place?

The answer is:  I’m not

After this…

It’s gone from memory…

I’ve moved on…


©Diana Jillian 9/12/15, Saturday

Hey Everyone!!!!

So you pretty much know the gist of my situation.

What you don’t know is this person is going through some stuff.  But then again, don’t we all?  I sent an innocent picture.  And it turned into something to where I need to seek professional help.  I don’t get it.  This person told me I was scaring them.  I don’t know how.  I was merely wishing them good things.  I thought it was a cute picture.  I had no idea it had anything to do with death in any way, shape or form.

This person told me I need help, and I got mad.  My inner New Yorker came out.  I dropped the f-bomb.  Which is something I do.  They got mad and said they can’t be my friend because I cursed at them.  I didn’t curse them out.  All I wrote was, “You’re not f-ing listening to me.”  Which is an odd thing considering we’re texting.

But in all truth, how many times can someone ask you if everything’s alright and you say, “Yes,” when they don’t believe you and keep on repeating themselves?  They got mad at me, and I told them they too dropped curse words all the time.  They were like when?

Um, every time you call me the N word….Or does that not matter.  I didn’t know the N word was acceptable in this case.  They then told me they didn’t know it was a curse word.  Well, my dear, it’s far worse than dropping the f-bomb in my eyes.

And we’re New Yorkers!  I don’t understand it.  You live in NY, and you DON’T curse?  Then you need to move elsewhere!  How did you survive all these years unless you’re a recluse and don’t socialize with others?  And you want to be a social worker?  Where you would have to socialize with others???  And you jump to conclusions….You won’t make a very good social worker I’m afraid.

Alright….I believe it’s officially out of my system.  A friend lost…That’s alright.  I need more positives than negatives.



5 thoughts on “Troubled Mind

  1. You most certainly do need positives and the over-reaction from this person is just mind blowing!
    It is true we all go through crap. There are some though who do have a habit of projecting onto others their own issues.
    It’s dangerous to look for hidden motives all the time and this is classic example of why you shouldn’t.
    I took it as a positive picture too.
    As sad as it is to discover you are no longer on the same page as someone I think this has come as blessing.
    Loosing friends hurts but having false friends hurts more.
    (((BIG HUGS))) and best wishes for a lot more positivity in your life.

    p.s. sorry I’ve been out of touch I have been quite busy and going through issues LOL. I’ll message you very soon.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. It’s so funny you say this because I had been doing a lot of thinking previous to that post I sent this person.

      I had become quiet. And when I become quiet, it means I no longer have something to say to someone.

      For the longest time, this person was texting me, and I was not replying.

      Finally, I just wrote, “I’m around. I’m just not feeling very…chatty.”

      This person took it as I was having a hard time but I’m not. I was actually in a good place.

      We chatted a little bit the next day and the day after. Then I sent the “picture that scared them”! I don’t get it.

      They were mad for being vague over the past week, but they’ve done it to me.

      How was it OK for them, but not for me?

      I had known for a few weeks now it was time to let go. I just didn’t think it would end so badly. But then again, I suppose friendships are not supposed to end on good terms?

      I always try to only because you never know what tomorrow holds.

      I’m so glad you’re my friend and I like to think even if we ever fought, we would still be friends! 🙂


      Liked by 1 person

      1. (((Hugs))) Sometimes our intuition knows best. It certainly sounds like it became a one sided friendship.
        I think the trend for double standards is getting worse. I’ve noticed it more and more that people take but rarely like to give. Empathy is pretty much nonexistent and people expect you to be there when they desire but want no-one to have expectations of them.
        It does make it difficult to find and keep friends.
        I’ve only had two friendships end badly. One was over things I didn’t even say! Apprently I am my husband and will be judged for what comes out of his mouth *shakes head * granted what he said wasn’t nice, that she was selfish and aggressive. She destroyed three of my paintings to show me how upset she was! Which sort proved Jamie right ironically.
        I still don’t like that it ended that way as she had a lot of good qualities as a person too, but sometimes you just have to roll with how it goes and keep in mind for the future the lessons learned from having known them.
        I’m very grateful as well to have your frienship and yes! I would hope we’d be able to work through any disagreements if we fought. 😊

        Liked by 1 person

      2. I remember that friendship. It was better left alone. Sometimes, there’s just no reasoning.

        Yes, empathy seems to have disappeared…I have no idea why. I try to empathize with everyone. I even wrote this person an email saying that you may have dismissed me, but I’ll still be around…I just won’t be your scapegoat. If they were to die tomorrow (God forbid…I would never wish that upon anyone), I would know my conscience is clear. That sounds weird…but that’s how I’d want it to be.

        Liked by 1 person

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