40 never bothered me
Because 40 was just something
I never thought would happen
Not for me

20 bothered me
20 made me feel old
20 broke my heart
Into millions of pieces

I never thought I’d ever
Live this long in life
But then I did
And I enjoyed it

I wanted to make plans
In order to keep me going
To a very old age
Because I wanted to live

And now it’s too late
My plans are as dead
As I feel deep inside
They’re hollowed and dried

I had fought the Universe
Every step of the way
Because I wanted so badly
For things to go my way

Dear 40
I’m not even there yet
And yet you have killed me
You have crushed my dreams

You’ve left me vacant and alone
You’ve left me an old maid
I’ll always and forever be
A hollow shell of no one

I’ll always be unwanted
Ugly on the inside
Constant self-hating
And forever forgotten

Why did you pick me
To live this life on earth?
A constant reminder
Of a life laid to rest

©Diana Jillian 7/27/16


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