I get caught up in posting to Blogger and FB. Sometimes I forget to post in here. So, to make up for my absence–and to show you I haven’t fallen off the face of the earth–here are some photoshop pics I created!
I love the comments I get. Like you can just turn off depression with the snap of your fingers. #DepressionIsReal
The screams falls upon silence
She has no more left in her
But today isn’t one of them
To find comfort is all for naught
For no one cares to notice her
No one cares about her feelings
Or whatever battles she has
She’s left with battle scars
Something she wishes to erase
And become healed
To be like everyone else
Or at least the way they pretend
Because she doesn’t know how
To play that kind of game
Maybe some day she’ll learn
A little bit of my soul
Black as coal
If I wasn’t afraid
I’d take away…
Surfing the grade
Teetering another day
My soul is done
It is forgotten
The world has won
And as I hide my tears
Succumbing to nothing
Despite wishing for years
Just to be a something
But here lies a reject
Here lies a no one
Why can’t He inject
The final beat of drum?
11/10/14 ©Diana Jillian
“Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option.”
For many years, I was allowing myself to be the option. No one would contact me until they needed me most.
I had to dump those people. If I didn’t, there would be nothing left of me anymore. I’d be nothing. I wouldn’t even be writing this. My energy would have been so drained…I’ll leave you to imagine the rest.
I was someone’s chauffeur; I was their babysitter; I was even there when they didn’t want to be “alone”.
Yet, I was alone. No one cared about me when my husband got sick.
In fact, they all disappeared.
And they wanted to remain Facebook friends or something like that.
I’ve been resulted down to social media to them.
I was no longer a human being they met in person. I was now just one of their buddies online.
Well, no thank you.
I decided to let them play those games with someone else. I had enough.
Well, that’s the QOTD. I’m on to writing my blog…Later on…
The last three letters of Friend, end. They end. Friends are truly never meant to happen. We are mere acquaintances, struggling in this thing called life. We are eventually alone in the world. In the past, I’ve made room for friends. I never ditched one friend for something more important. I’ve always treated everything as an equal.
Eh, I guess I’m old-fashioned. I value those around me. I did value those around me. These days, not so much.
I just gave so much, I have nothing left to give. I have tried for what seems like an eternity, to maintain friendships. Yet those ships sail into the night. They disappear into the mist; never to be heard from. And just when you think you’ve got your life back on track…BAM!!!!!
They come crawling out of the woodwork. Why? Seriously! Why now? Why when everything is starting to go good again in my life. Why come back.
And that’s another thing I’ve noticed. They creep up when life is going good. Maybe it’s to drain the good energy I have. And then they disappear when life is going bad.
Eventually with me, my negative turns to a positive again. But that doesn’t mean I want “friends” only stopping by just when life is going good. I want them to be with me for the bad as well.
Although…I had one “friend” that just ditched me because my life was going good. She stayed with me through the bad. It makes no sense.
I am destined to be alone in the friEND department.
They never bother stopping by
And you question reasons why
You never see you’re the blame
Making others feel your shame
You punish people with your curses
And pushing them with your own verses
An “I told you so” given at your hand
As you control everything on your land
And you wonder why you’re alone
Or why no one goes near you
And if they do, It only out of fear
The misery you infest is true
©Diana Jillian 8/21/15